Reflections

What you thought you knew..

I remember growing up thinking that one day, I would get married and have a family. But, it wasn’t in the traditional way that little girls think. I grew up in a very Christian traditional household where roles were clearly defined. My father was the breadwinner and set the standard for our home and my mother was the homemaker and manager of the house; even though she worked full time as a Reading Specialist/Teacher much of my childhood ( by choice).

As a young girl, growing up with two brothers who had their clearly defined roles of working in the yard and doing all of the boy things, that structure didn’t sit well with me. I perceived housework as unfair and stereotypical, so I rebelled. Fortunately, my mother didn’t tolerate nonsense, so I ended up doing the “girl” stuff anyway (I am grateful because I know how to manage my home as a result).

I thought that my mother was too submissive to my father (whom I adored); he was and still is a wonderful example of what a Christian husband and father should be in my mind. My mother loved the Lord and shared Christ all of the time. My parents were a modern day Priscilla and Aquila. Even though my mother’s heart was faithful to God, I thought that being obedient to her husband was weak, but in reality she was strong and was doing her best to set a godly example for her children. It worked! Both of my brothers have stable marriages. I, the rebellious one did not.

Alas, instead of learning the lesson, that she wanted me to learn, I internalized that I would never be in a place of submission, but would be equal with my husband never once having to honor the obey part of my wedding vows. We would partners, not operating in a traditional hierarchy.

Fast forward a couple of decades, I accomplished what I planned professionally and even bought a couple of houses without the benefit of a husband. The one remaining goal was marriage and kids. I waited until my mid thirties and so by that time, the pickings of eligible mates had become slim. This is where it would have been better had I had my heart and mind more closely aligned with God’s will for my life. Or even had studied my mother’s choices more closely, the outcome would have been different. Instead, I selected a mate based on convenience and availability instead of what God wanted for me thus the outcome…. divorce.

All these years later, I finally understand what my mother wanted me to see, it’s not about obedience to your spouse, it’s about obedience to God for your life! It’s about bundling up all of His promises in your heart and knowing that by submitting to your husband (the right one) you are ultimately submitting to God.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21

Always,

Angela Christine Ireland💖

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