Faith, Reflections

My Anniversary

It’s hard to believe that one year ago today, I had a large tumor removed from my leg. I had no idea then what the next several months would bring. What started out as routine, ended up being more extensive than I could have imagined. It took months to heal and even though the internal healing is complete, I will have a scar to remind me for the remainder of my days of the lessons that I needed to learn.

In those weeks, I learned how to accept and appreciate support from others, but also disappointment. The very people that I thought would have come to my side at a very vulnerable time in my life, did not. And the very people, who had no reason to, did.

That is the funny thing about loss, no matter what it is, surgery or death. Love and support comes from the most unexpected places to fill your cup. They are those angels that come and minister to you without saying a word. They just flutter about doing, because they know that you would never ask.

Behind the scenes they make sure that you are fed and comforted. They make arrangements for your beloved children. They send cards, they call. They ask about you. Sometimes they just sit and listen to you go on and on without judgement. And sometimes, they catch you before you hit the floor.

Were it not for the angels near and far, that chose to love on me when my pride would not permit me to ask for help, though, I very much needed it, I would not have fared as well as I did; my heart is grateful. I am grateful that they ignored my foolishness and did the work that needed to be done.

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” Hebrews 13:2

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

One year post my surgery
Faith, Love, Reflections

Without You

Who would I be without You? Without You, my life would be a heap of ashes, without a hope and without a future. Without You, I would barely be hanging on. Without You, my words would have no meaning, my life a waste. Without you, I would be unsaved and destined for damnation. Without You, I’d never know that love is patient and is kind.

I pray that I will never forget, Who you are and all you have done for me; because I never want to live this life without You.

“With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!” Psalm 119:10

In Christ alone,

AngelaChristine

View during walk after dinner

Health Bites, Hormones

Carrots and Estrogen?

Turns out that Bugs Bunny was right, a carrot a day or two or three or more may keep the doctor away. The simple garden carrot can be an amazing tool for your endocrine and digestive health! Here are just a few reasons why I’ve become obsessed with eating a raw carrot salad daily.

As you probably know by now, I am a Functional Nutrition Counselor and it is my goal to help clients get to the roots of their symptoms using a nutritional approach through a functional nutrition matrix. With that in mind, I am always looking for simple ways that people, women in particular, can improve their health, whether they are working directly with me or not. So before you rush out to grocery store to buy up bags of carrots, this is what you need to know.

Carrots contain and indigestible fiber that helps the body perform its detoxification more efficiently. When you eat a carrot, the fiber in it binds to the excess estrogen that is circulating in the body. Why is this important? Well, excess estrogen is known to cause bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, weight gain, anxiety and panic attacks and more. And since we’re exposed to it in our diets and environment in the form of xenoestrogens, which are hormone disrupters, eating carrots can help!

In addition, the fiber in the carrots can lower the non beneficial bacteria in the intestines. Did you know that imbalances in gut bacteria can also contribute to hormonal imbalance? So, think of the carrots as a daily scrubber for your intestines. They bind up the bacterial toxins, which causes inflammation and it removes the excess estrogen. So, that within a few days of eating daily your raw carrot salad your digestive and hormonal health will shift positively. That sounds like a win to me!

I can’t end this post without pointing out the skin enhancing benefits of raw carrots. Carrots contain Vitamin A and Beta-Carotene. These micronutrients, are especially important for skin, can you say, “good-bye acne,” and liver health.

By now, you’re probably wondering how to consume the carrots. Start with one organic carrot, shredded with a splash of vinegar, a splash of coconut oil or avocado oil (fat helps with absorption), sea salt to taste and enjoy. You’ll want to consume on empty stomach 30-60 minutes before your dinner or in my case lunch.

Let me know if you decide to add this humble recipe into your routine. And if you’d like to learn more check out this website: https://biochemnordic.com/dr-ray-peat-carrot-salad/

To your vibrant health,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Family, Friendship

Tiny Little Miracles

It’s hard to believe that we have been here for three weeks. So much has happened in such a short time that it’s impossible to not see God’s hand in this move. We have visited three churches of Christ, since we have been here and have already made good friends. Through these friendships, we have been able to connect with the homeschooling community. Emily is enrolled in piano, will start tennis lessons after Labor Day and will also get to participate in Fall planting at my sister in Christ’s home next month. Needless the say, as I sit here typing out this post, tears are streaming down my face as I reflect on how good God is and has been since we made this move. Though it was extremely hard in the preparation, I am appreciative that Huntsville, is woven into our journey to heaven.

Today has been busy, following worship this morning, we were invited to the home of a family from church for lunch. Not only was the meal delicious, but everything on our plates came from their backyard. Even the kombucha that was served with our meal was homemade. The meal was followed by a tour of their homestead, and if that was not enough, they gifted us with more wonderful vegetables to take home. The one surprise at lunch was the rabbit. I’ve always been hesitant about eating rabbit, but decided today that I would expand my horizons. So, I ate it with gratitude and to my surprise it was quite tasty.

If I had to put a cap on my day, it was that I was able to leave my daughter at the church building this evening after Bible study for her first youth event. She had a great time and made some new friends. She was the primary driver for this move, because I wanted to have her surrounded by other children her age, growing in Christ. God has taken us from isolated to invited and welcomed.

With all of this wonderful happening to us, my heart still aches because Ethan is not here with us to experience this too. In fact, I feel guilty that we are able to live this life without him. It seems so unfair. In fact, I still can’t comprehend that my life is so radically different now. That God would have me go on without my heartbeat, my precious boy. It still hurts so deeply.

Though, I don’t understand, I will cling to my Lord and Savior, trusting that one day I will see Ethan again as he should have always been, whole and well.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:15&16

In Christine love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Family

Sweet Home Alabama

There is so much to share that I don’t even know where to begin. My daughter and I embarked upon a journey that relocated us from the state that we had grown to call home to a place that seemed so foreign when God placed it on my heart. Probably like many of the early Americans when they left family to travel out west to set up a new homestead.

But here it’s different or maybe I am different. I am different. Or perhaps, it’s the relatability or the way we were welcomed into church on Sunday as though they had been waiting for us to arrive. Or maybe it’s just the door that opened because He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. Whatever that, it is, I am grateful that we can now call, Alabama our home. ❤️

Being a native of North Carolina, I would never have thought I could live in Alabama. Truth be told I felt the same way about Georgia.

Thank you, Alabama for welcoming us with open arms.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Grief, Love

Walking Through Sorrow

It’s been four months since my precious son left this life and there isn’t one day that I don’t think of him. It’s not possible for me to forget the joy that he brought into my life. He made me a warrior, a fighter, he made me brave.

I try to stay busy, because sitting with my thoughts for too long is too hard. I have to pack, but it seems like I barely get started before I stop. I know that it needs to be done, but for some reason, I can find a million distractions. I wonder if it’s because part of me feels like packing makes his death final or is just a reminder that this next journey doesn’t include him.

I know that God has him. There is no doubt in my mind that he is healed and happy. I’m just sad that it didn’t happen for me to see. Sometimes, I find myself calling him to come and give me a hug, I just want to hold him and snuggle. But he doesn’t come. Maybe he doesn’t miss me in the way that I miss him.

I still wonder why he had to leave and I know that I may never get the answers that I am seeking. I guess I just want to know why I had to go through another hurt so deep that breathing hurts. But God doesn’t owe me an explanation so I’ll accept that His grace is sufficient.

Besides I guess none of us gets to leave this planet without some amount of sorrow. Just seems that I have had enough for two lifetimes. Maybe there is a lesson in that for me to learn. I guess, I need to figure it out, because I am tired of walking through sorrow and having grief as a constant companion.

Perhaps, I’ll wake up one day and grief will be gone and if she is, I pray that I am ready for the day.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Morning Kisses
Belief, Faith, Grief, Mindset

On The Edge of Nowhere

Where do I belong? Where should we go? Should we just buy an RV and travel from state to state? Those are questions, I ask myself almost daily. You see when Ethan was alive, we knew. We knew where we had to be and when. But now, we’re nomads. Anchored only to the belief that, if we live faithfully we will be reunited with our Ethan someday.

When I show up online, people see the bright shiny Angela doing her best to serve and inspire. What they don’t see is the pain, that still permeates my heart. Though it’s been nearly four months, I am still not okay that he is gone. I will likely never be.

I guess what I struggle so deeply with is the not knowing. Why he had to go and not me? Why am I still here to mourn the sweetest, purest heart that I was blessed to nurture and care for? What lessons does God want me to know? Why do I still not have the faith of Job? Why do I still not know where I belong?

I started the “75 Hard Challenge” on May 9, and knock on wood, I’ve been able to meet the challenge so far. But one of the things that I am learning or I guess I have had to face is the me looking back at me in the mirror. Truth is, this is a mental challenge and it has brought forth some hard truths. Number one, I am not in control, God is and He is the ultimate decision maker. For me to think otherwise is arrogant and rebellious. Two, He loves me and has only the best plan laid out for me as long as I listen to his voice and step out of the drivers seat and sit in the passengers seat where I belong.

Three, Job was not blessed abundantly because he did not sin, but because he never wavered in his belief that God was the giver of all that he had and that He would provide and was worthy of praise, no matter the circumstances. He just trusted and believed, even when he lost all of his children in one day! He grieved but did not stop trusting God. That is the lesson, right?

Just like Job, I may never know why God has allowed me to experience so much grief over the years. But what I do know is that, God has a plan for me, not one of evil, but a future and a hope. I just have to believe that He will and to live my life according to will and to seek His counsel daily.

“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” I Peter 5:10

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Nowhere

Faith, Grief

It Comes in Waves

What do you call a mother who loses her child when he is eleven years old? Is she a widow like when her husband dies? Is there even a name to represent her heart being pulled from her chest, like a heart attack that is associated with cardiovascular disease? There should be a name to call a woman who loses her child without warning or explanation. Maybe I’ll be the first to wear that name. I am after all a grieving mother and will likely be known by that until the day I die.

Most days, I wake up and do all of the things. But then there are moments when I see his lifeless body in my mind and I want to scream and cry and beg for it to not be real. Oh and then there are the times, when a friend will just simply ask, “how are you doing”, and the tears just start rolling down my cheeks before I even say a word. I know that people understand and they give me grace. But for some reason, I find it hard to give it to myself.

Since my dear Ethan’s passing in February, I’ve had time to sit with grief and ask why him he has been my companion for so many years. Why it seems, he follows me everywhere. Is there a lesson that I haven’t learned? Or have I not humbled myself enough? I wish I knew how to shake him or to travel a different route where he can’t find me. But somehow I don’t believe that is even possible. As soon as I let my guard down he takes someone that I love and need in my life.

My neighbor recently asked me if I thought I might date or find love again. My response, “probably not.” I reminded him that as a special needs parent, I wasn’t planning to get involved with anyone in that sense because my life was devoted to being Ethan’s mom, his person. I was prepared to take care of him. I am not prepared for someone to take care of me or for anyone to take up that much space in my life. That idea is so foreign to me at this point, that I don’t even entertain it.

What’s so interesting, is that being divorced didn’t and doesn’t feel like a loss. Losing my nana, my mother and my Ethan were losses, abandonment really and that is a visceral hurt that is indescribable. Those are the losses that make me question and wonder why I am still here. But grief won’t answer me, he just follows me and stares when I tell him to leave.

I guess this is the time where I have to accept what is and to be content with raising my daughter. She needs me and wants me to be the all in mom that she didn’t have for several years. So, that mom is who I will be because she needs me to be her.

In Christian Love,

AngelaChristine

Grief covered with a smile

Alopecia

Are you suffering from hair loss?

Jill McLaughlin Grunewald is a longtime holistic health coach and has suffered from alopecia since she was a teen (she was half bald at one point), but always turned it around. And for the last eight years, she’s been supporting the alopecia community in her private coaching practice and online courses.

She and her co-coach, Dr. Elizabeth Naylor, are offering a 3-hour workshop this Saturday, April 23, called 9 Mistakes You Can’t Afford to Make When Reversing Alopecia. It’s FREE with the code CANADY and you’ll also receive Jill’s Alopecia Labs Guide that outlines what she feels are the most important tests for assessing root cause of hair loss. This guide has been “gold” for so many of her clients and students!

This class is for anyone suffering from hair loss, whether it’s total, patchy, or diffuse/androgenic (although not all diffuse loss is androgenic) and whether you’re new to a holistic/whole body approach or you’ve previously taken part in the full Reversing Alopecia mastercourse. (Jill and Elizabeth don’t claim to help men with pattern baldness.) They’re also going to cover post-covid loss.

It’s going to be a good one! If you can’t make it live, no problem, as the workshop will be recorded.

Follow the link to complete your registration. Please don’t forget to type CANADY at checkout.

https://bit.ly/3MdgL6r