Faith, Love, Mindset, Reflections

Reflection and Resolution

I’m here. My daughter is here. We are embarking on a new year and a new life with one less, my son, her brother. Even though it’s been almost a year, it still feels fresh. An open wound still not ready to close. Though, I could sit here and cry and feel sorry for myself, because I could, but I would then be denying the power of Jesus Christ in the midst of midst of my sorrow. He has never forsaken or forgotten me, He has kept every single one of His promises.

God knows and knew what He was doing when He took my boy to be with Him. For a long time, it felt like I was being punished. I still feel that way at times. But, then I reflect on all of the blessings that I have received and continue to receive even in this season of loss, this grief. There are so many emotions right now, knowing that I will never see my boy grow up. He will in my heart and mind always be eleven.

As I look forward to this new year, I will never forget what happened in 2022, a part of me will be gone forever, but through it all, I am growing stronger day by day. And I have a loving Father, who is the same today, tomorrow and forever. That is a huge comfort to me. I can believe in Him, I can trust in Him and I can share the gospel and live faithfully until my natural death. While I wait to be reunited one day with Ethan. I will accept His continual refinement so that my life might be an example of His mercy and His grace. After all, diamonds are produced under pressure.

So, what are my plans for 2023, you may ask. Stay tuned, I have so much to share. But until then know this, I will shed the remnants of fear and scarcity, that have followed me for many years. My life is too full now for those two to have any place in it. That is why for 2023, I’m going to happily invest in both of my businesses and I will continue to study the scriptures so that I might be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks for the reason for the hope that is in me.

This is not a resolution but it is a commitment to grow outside of the fear and to walk in the victory of Christ. I hope that you will join me.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Family, Grief, Love, Reflections

As We Say Goodbye

You all know that 2022, has been a heart crushing year for me. Unspeakable pain. But in midst of the worst pain, Jesus has held me. He has provided and protected us and held us up and when it was impossible for either of us to stand on our own, He carried us.

And when knew it was time for us to move, He sent us to the one place that I never would have chosen myself, Northern Alabama. After living here since August, I can emphatically say that I’m so glad that I didn’t choose. When I prayed and asked Him to place us where we could grow in the word and expand His kingdom, He answered my prayer and has turned to beauty what were ashes.

God has gifted us with friends, that are more like family, Emily is involved in so much with the youth group at church, that I’ve become her chauffeur. In fact, she just attended her first sleep away camp this past week. She was so impressed and truly enjoyed being there. I’ve linked the video from there last night here. https://youtu.be/r6KdR6vN71U

The classes and the Bible studies for the adults at church has been like attending Bible college and in late January something big is coming to us, so stay tuned for that announcement.

I guess the point of this post is to say that, though we may think we know what’s best for us, only God knows exactly what we need and when. So as we close out this year and ring in the new, I’m going to praise Him and glorify Him even more because I know and I remember from whence I came.

“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Happy New Year!!

AngelaChristine

Just us
Faith, Family, Grief

The Road We Traveled To Get Here

Everyone wants to be loved, it is our fundamental and most basic emotion that we need to endure this life. Lives absent of love are hard, difficult and incredibly lonely.

I was in my late thirties, married and pregnant with my first child, when the unthinkable happened. My mother, my sister in Christ and very best friend died. That was the first time, that I felt to my core the absence of love. It was the first time that I felt truly alone and inconsolable. On that day, I could not imagine how I could possibly live this life without the one person who knew me better than anyone, including my husband.

I forged ahead for my daughter. I put a bandaid over that chest wound and busied myself with preparation of becoming a mother. I was fine. I functioned convincingly, until the next worst thing happened. Ethan had his first seizure at my dad’s wedding. I was forever changed that day. I left my body in anguish that day, hearing every voice around me, but incapable of responding. I only returned, when I heard the paramedic say, “your son needs you, please snap out of it!” He was right, Ethan needed me from that day forward. I became Ethan’s person and he became mine.

Countless doctors, a big from North Carolina to Georgia, with the bright eyed belief that I would find the answers that would take the seizures and autism away. I read, I researched, I consulted. He would improve and then he would slide back. Always following those seizures. I hate seizures.

With every setback I forged ahead, determined that the ship would turn for my Ethan. He was my focus. Eventually my body broke down, autoimmunity moved into my once healthy body. One month later, it became too much for husband to bear, so with a simple text, he wanted out. For nine months, we occupied the same house. He filed for divorce, I accepted without a fight. Why? Because it never should have been. A divorce was the relief that I needed to fight for my son and to nurture my daughter without the demands of a counterfeit marriage.

Life became harder, but then it would get better. Ethan would do well and just when I thought we had cleared a hurdle, there would be something. But we always rebounded. Always. But then one day, we didn’t. Ethan died. And once again, that deep gut wrenching hurt absence of love came back. How could this have happened? Countless ambulance rides, two life threatening weeks in the hospital. But we always turned it around. Until we didn’t. Why Lord, why?

I still think about that day and wonder why or what I could have done. I know that even if God gave me an answer, what comfort would it give me? Ethan isn’t coming back. I have to go to him.

So, when I prayed and asked for direction for Emily and I, He led us to northern Alabama. The one place I never expected to live but now can’t imagine living anywhere else.

While I still don’t understand why my life had to go this way, I can say that my soul is no longer wandering, because I have finally found my home.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Road with fallen leaves

Belief, Faith, Grief, Mindset

Something to Celebrate

I firmly believe that when you prioritize God above all else, blessings just come. Tonight was such an occasion. I am happy to report that on my first attempt, I successfully passed my Functional Nutrition Certification exam! 🎉🎉

Though my heart is still heavy because my boy is not here to celebrate with me, it is because of him that I started this wellness journey.

Please stay tuned for more details that I will share over the coming weeks as I begin to set up my practice.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

To God be the glory!

AngelaChristine

*official certification to be mailed.

Officially certified
Mindset, Wellness

An Unpopular Opinion

Let me go ahead and pull the band aid off. You think living healthy is too expensive. Do you know what is expensive? Being sick or unwell. That is really costly. For some reason you think that having “health insurance” somehow lowers your costs. Sure it does, until you try to pay for something that actually promotes health.
The only “health” model that exists in the US is the inevitability that we will all somehow become sick with something that requires us to pay monthly premiums and pay “less” for our inevitable prescriptions.

Why is that even acceptable? Did you know that financially speaking it costs less to be healthy? It’s called a “lifestyle” for a reason. I know what it’s like to have compromised health, I know what it was like for my son to have compromised health and now he is gone. The lesson that I learned was this, never trust the medical establishment with the health of your precious babies and don’t look to them to for health tips. They have no clue on how to become healthy or how to maintain health.

Don’t believe me? Just ask the 80 million Americans struggling with some form of autoimmunity that the medical/healthcare system can’t address.

It’s time to wake up and take control of your health.

Much love!
AngelaChristine

Faith, Reflections

My Anniversary

It’s hard to believe that one year ago today, I had a large tumor removed from my leg. I had no idea then what the next several months would bring. What started out as routine, ended up being more extensive than I could have imagined. It took months to heal and even though the internal healing is complete, I will have a scar to remind me for the remainder of my days of the lessons that I needed to learn.

In those weeks, I learned how to accept and appreciate support from others, but also disappointment. The very people that I thought would have come to my side at a very vulnerable time in my life, did not. And the very people, who had no reason to, did.

That is the funny thing about loss, no matter what it is, surgery or death. Love and support comes from the most unexpected places to fill your cup. They are those angels that come and minister to you without saying a word. They just flutter about doing, because they know that you would never ask.

Behind the scenes they make sure that you are fed and comforted. They make arrangements for your beloved children. They send cards, they call. They ask about you. Sometimes they just sit and listen to you go on and on without judgement. And sometimes, they catch you before you hit the floor.

Were it not for the angels near and far, that chose to love on me when my pride would not permit me to ask for help, though, I very much needed it, I would not have fared as well as I did; my heart is grateful. I am grateful that they ignored my foolishness and did the work that needed to be done.

“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” Hebrews 13:2

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

One year post my surgery
Faith, Love, Reflections

Without You

Who would I be without You? Without You, my life would be a heap of ashes, without a hope and without a future. Without You, I would barely be hanging on. Without You, my words would have no meaning, my life a waste. Without you, I would be unsaved and destined for damnation. Without You, I’d never know that love is patient and is kind.

I pray that I will never forget, Who you are and all you have done for me; because I never want to live this life without You.

“With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!” Psalm 119:10

In Christ alone,

AngelaChristine

View during walk after dinner

Health Bites, Hormones

Carrots and Estrogen?

Turns out that Bugs Bunny was right, a carrot a day or two or three or more may keep the doctor away. The simple garden carrot can be an amazing tool for your endocrine and digestive health! Here are just a few reasons why I’ve become obsessed with eating a raw carrot salad daily.

As you probably know by now, I am a Functional Nutrition Counselor and it is my goal to help clients get to the roots of their symptoms using a nutritional approach through a functional nutrition matrix. With that in mind, I am always looking for simple ways that people, women in particular, can improve their health, whether they are working directly with me or not. So before you rush out to grocery store to buy up bags of carrots, this is what you need to know.

Carrots contain and indigestible fiber that helps the body perform its detoxification more efficiently. When you eat a carrot, the fiber in it binds to the excess estrogen that is circulating in the body. Why is this important? Well, excess estrogen is known to cause bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, weight gain, anxiety and panic attacks and more. And since we’re exposed to it in our diets and environment in the form of xenoestrogens, which are hormone disrupters, eating carrots can help!

In addition, the fiber in the carrots can lower the non beneficial bacteria in the intestines. Did you know that imbalances in gut bacteria can also contribute to hormonal imbalance? So, think of the carrots as a daily scrubber for your intestines. They bind up the bacterial toxins, which causes inflammation and it removes the excess estrogen. So, that within a few days of eating daily your raw carrot salad your digestive and hormonal health will shift positively. That sounds like a win to me!

I can’t end this post without pointing out the skin enhancing benefits of raw carrots. Carrots contain Vitamin A and Beta-Carotene. These micronutrients, are especially important for skin, can you say, “good-bye acne,” and liver health.

By now, you’re probably wondering how to consume the carrots. Start with one organic carrot, shredded with a splash of vinegar, a splash of coconut oil or avocado oil (fat helps with absorption), sea salt to taste and enjoy. You’ll want to consume on empty stomach 30-60 minutes before your dinner or in my case lunch.

Let me know if you decide to add this humble recipe into your routine. And if you’d like to learn more check out this website: https://biochemnordic.com/dr-ray-peat-carrot-salad/

To your vibrant health,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Family, Friendship

Tiny Little Miracles

It’s hard to believe that we have been here for three weeks. So much has happened in such a short time that it’s impossible to not see God’s hand in this move. We have visited three churches of Christ, since we have been here and have already made good friends. Through these friendships, we have been able to connect with the homeschooling community. Emily is enrolled in piano, will start tennis lessons after Labor Day and will also get to participate in Fall planting at my sister in Christ’s home next month. Needless the say, as I sit here typing out this post, tears are streaming down my face as I reflect on how good God is and has been since we made this move. Though it was extremely hard in the preparation, I am appreciative that Huntsville, is woven into our journey to heaven.

Today has been busy, following worship this morning, we were invited to the home of a family from church for lunch. Not only was the meal delicious, but everything on our plates came from their backyard. Even the kombucha that was served with our meal was homemade. The meal was followed by a tour of their homestead, and if that was not enough, they gifted us with more wonderful vegetables to take home. The one surprise at lunch was the rabbit. I’ve always been hesitant about eating rabbit, but decided today that I would expand my horizons. So, I ate it with gratitude and to my surprise it was quite tasty.

If I had to put a cap on my day, it was that I was able to leave my daughter at the church building this evening after Bible study for her first youth event. She had a great time and made some new friends. She was the primary driver for this move, because I wanted to have her surrounded by other children her age, growing in Christ. God has taken us from isolated to invited and welcomed.

With all of this wonderful happening to us, my heart still aches because Ethan is not here with us to experience this too. In fact, I feel guilty that we are able to live this life without him. It seems so unfair. In fact, I still can’t comprehend that my life is so radically different now. That God would have me go on without my heartbeat, my precious boy. It still hurts so deeply.

Though, I don’t understand, I will cling to my Lord and Savior, trusting that one day I will see Ethan again as he should have always been, whole and well.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:15&16

In Christine love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Family

Sweet Home Alabama

There is so much to share that I don’t even know where to begin. My daughter and I embarked upon a journey that relocated us from the state that we had grown to call home to a place that seemed so foreign when God placed it on my heart. Probably like many of the early Americans when they left family to travel out west to set up a new homestead.

But here it’s different or maybe I am different. I am different. Or perhaps, it’s the relatability or the way we were welcomed into church on Sunday as though they had been waiting for us to arrive. Or maybe it’s just the door that opened because He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. Whatever that, it is, I am grateful that we can now call, Alabama our home. ❤️

Being a native of North Carolina, I would never have thought I could live in Alabama. Truth be told I felt the same way about Georgia.

Thank you, Alabama for welcoming us with open arms.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine