Belief, Faith, Family

While I Wait

Soar Like Eagles

I want to tell you that everything is okay, but if I did, I’d be lying.

I want to tell you that my leg is all healed up and I’m back to life as usual.

I also want to tell you that now that I am no longer receiving round the clock care, that I’m managing it all, but again, I would be lying.

You see on Friday, when the weight of it all hit me, I broke down. I cried like I haven’t cried in a while. I even screamed, asking God, why does it have to be this hard? When my daughter broke down and cried and asked me the same question and I couldn’t give her an answer that a 12 year old would fully understand, I cried even more.

Friday, was a sad day for my family. Sorrow filled. But then we woke up on Saturday morning to the most glorious sunshine and weather. It was God’s promise that mercies are made new every morning. It was also Him telling me that He sees us and we are not forgotten. It was Him hugging us. I so desperately needed that hug.

Then, today as we sat and listened to the message preached by my dear brother in Christ, Chad Garett, about sorrow, “ The Sorrowed Soul”, it resonated so deeply because of all the emotions over the past two days. He had no idea, how much I needed that message; not because it captured all of my emotions right now, but because there is absolutely nothing that I am experiencing right now in this moment that Jesus does not understand and cannot relate too. Every tear, every pain, every doubt and every fear, he feels and is moved by. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15.

So, while this weekend has had a lot of tears and sorrow, I am choosing to trust that God is holding me and my children. “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Cancer, Faith, Family, Mindset

Standing In That Space

Valley of my life

What I try not to remember, is exactly what I need to remember, not to relive it or even give it a place in my life, but to finally say “I am done, these memories no longer serve me.” It is time to say goodbye and bury them once and for all.

Since my surgery six weeks ago, bits and pieces of past trauma have crept up into my brain. Almost taunting me to give up a little more of my protection, my shield, my independence. These feelings are so foreign to me now because I have built up a hard shell almost impenetrable to anyone even my children.

At some point in my childhood or maybe as a teenager, when I don’t remember, I made a decision, perhaps self-consciously or otherwise that emotion and feelings were for the weak. Maybe it started when my childhood friend, James committed suicide when I was in the ninth grade. That was my very first experience with death. I can remember that day, like it was yesterday, the kick in my stomach when the words rolled out of my dad’s mouth.

Or perhaps it was the following year, when the funniest guy in my class, Mark, was killed in a car accident, while joyriding with some of our classmates. He was the only in that crash, who did not survive. Then there was my dad’s promotion that required him to relocate at the start of my junior year in high school. New state, new school, no real friends. Once again, another layer of protection applied.

Somehow I managed to get through college and graduate school and start my career before the people closest to me began to die. My aunt Martha, Nana and the ultimate blow, my mom. Of course by the time my mom died the shell around my heart was titanium or some substance that only God could pierce, but only when I wanted him too.

What I have determined is that I do a great job of compartmentalizing to prevent myself from collapsing into the sheer pain of it all. To allow myself to feel that pain would leave me vulnerable and open in a way that would let the world know that I am really not as strong as I want everyone to believe that I am.

I am at my core, the woman that always wanted someone besides my mother and father to say everything is going to be just fine, with conviction. For my husband to say you have a purpose, a hope and a future designed by God. He (God) is standing in the doorway waiting for me to finally give it all to Him.

Though my legs are still wobbly and weak from these weeks of recovery, I will trust in Him. His plans for my life. I will stand in that space until all the pain and sadness have been stripped away from my heart and my mind.

For I know the plans, I have for you declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

American, Belief, Faith, Family, Parenting

Stand In Faith For Your Posterity

Children Playing

As a Christian, we know that this world is not our home, but in America we have now reached a place where Christians are no longer respected but are ridiculed. In some cases, downright hostile to the point of shuttering churches and organizations that reflect our faith.

We cannot even send our children to the government schools without worrying about what they will be exposed to in the curriculum. Then there is the issue of bodily autonomy. The government schools believe that if your child is there, they must be accepting of whatever is taught, passed or mandated. No! Morals and values should be taught at home.

This is not the America that I grew up in. My childhood is filled with memories of parents, teaching and taking their children to church. Teaching them about God and how to live a life for Christ. With many of the teachers holding similar ideals. Though, I am now an advocate for homeschooling and believe it is ideal, I know that for some parents that is a nearly impossible undertaking due to work, life and finances.

So, I suggest this, create the community amongst the people whom you share the same ideals/values, and create the learning environment that you want for your children.

Now is the time to stop asking, mother may I and begin to establish the communities across the country that will best suit your children now and for years to come.

They are your children, given to you by God our Creator to glorify Him in this world. You do not need the government’s permission to parent and raise your children. But you do need, God.

Stand in faith for your posterity (children).

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Cooking, Family, Health Bites

Butternut Squash Soup

October 13, 2021

Growing up, I was blessed to have two grandmothers, who not only cooked but cooked well. I can’t say for certain that I inherited my ability to cook from them, but I’d like to think that their culinary skills did rub off on me just a little bit. Only sharpened by the necessity of cooking for a special needs kid and my own autoimmunity.

As the weather cools, I feel more inclined to cook heartier meals that reflect the produce of the season. So, tonight I took all of the butternut squash that I had in the freezer and combined it with leftover rotisserie chicken along with the aromatics of garlic,yellow onions, celery and carrots in the Instant Pot. In addition to the salt and pepper, I added organic poultry seasoning to amp up the flavor. And to add depth to the chicken broth, I squeezed fresh lemon juice into the broth before sealing the pressure cooker.

Shazam! That soup turned out to be a flavor explosion in the mouth. As I ladled all three bowls it occurred to me that in addition to the fresh parsley, I should a little more fresh lemon juice to each bowl. It was delicious! My only regret was that I didn’t prepare a gluten free bread to accompany the soup.

Though I didn’t follow a recipe nor did I write down the steps I followed to make the soup, it was made with love and it was wholesome. In my very humble opinion, I believe that love is the main or primary ingredient for cooking. Without it, anything you make falls flat.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Cooking, Family, Wellness

What’s On Your Dinner Plate Tonight?

Dinner 10.12.21

Though not at 100%, I still felt strong enough to cook us a decent meal for dinner. While cooking may be laborious at times, there is just something special about cooking for the ones that you love.

Since frozen salmon is quite expensive at the moment, I decided to buy wild caught canned salmon and turn it into what people used to call it here in the south “croquettes.”

If you want the recipe there really isn’t one, because I just make stuff up and then after I make it, I say to myself, “you should have written it down, so you can make it again.” I’ll make it again and it will be slightly different because I will inevitably have an ingredient that is missing and will have to do a substitute. But hey, this is just the way I live. 😂😂

Salmon croquettes, made with fresh onions, celery, red bell pepper, about two teaspoons of honey mustard, one egg and about a half cup of cassava flour.

I steamed the petite green beans and finished them with coconut aminos and garlic, sautéed the squash, with onions, red bell pepper, parsley, oregano and tomato paste. I’d say it turned out well, because we have no leftovers. 😋 Cooking is an expression of love.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

American, Belief, Faith, Family, Freedom

Love Thy Neighbor

It is not my responsibility to save you, only Jesus saves. “And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12. It is not my responsibility to spoon feed you all of the data and research that I have spent countless hours doing, but I do it because I love you. “You shall love your neighbor as yourself, there is no greater commandment than these.” Mark 12:31. It is not my responsibility to show you the beauty of our Constitutional Republic, only you can pick up a copy of our Declaration of Independence and read it. “We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness- That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

It is not responsibility to make you believe that God loves you and sent his one and only son for your salvation. ” For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16. It is not my responsibility to make you understand that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” I Corinthians 6:19&20

It is my responsibility to share the good news as Christ commanded over 2000 years ago. But acceptance is up to you. ” All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold I am with you always.” Matthew 28:18-20.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Love the Neighbor
American, Belief, Faith, Family, Freedom, Love, Mindset, Reflections

My Hope for America

This morning before I started my Bible study, I started to think about where we are as a nation and my heart began to grieve. I thought to myself, how can I say that I love God, with all heart and all my soul and hate my neighbor. Please don’t misunderstand my message here, I don’t have to condone or support behaviors that are in violation of God’s law, I will not do that, but I can love you and show you kindness because that is what God does for me daily.
God is the creator and Jesus died for every single one of us on this planet. It is through his blood that we can have salvation.

So, that made me think again as to why there is this push and desire to segregate ourselves. Who benefits from division and segregation? It certainly isn’t me or anyone else that I know.
Hear me out, we aren’t going to agree on everything, because all of us come from different backgrounds and experiences. In my case, my Christian faith supersedes every man made philosophy or belief system because it is imperfect and very likely against God’s will for my life.
Let me be clear here, if we have disagreements on certain topics, I can assure you, it will not be based on the color of your skin. God has already addressed this in Acts 17:26 and Romans 2:11& 12.
Besides, I have too many friends that look nothing like me, that have been by my side many times when I needed them. If we can’t get past all of this color/race nonsense of one race being superior/ inferior to another then we are absolutely doomed as a nation.

It is my prayer that we can one day have in our hearts to be united as Americans instead of unhappy, warring tribes.

In Christ,
AngelaChristine ❤️

Belief, Faith, Family, Love, Mindset, Parenting

The Other Side of the Story

This afternoon was a first. The first time, my son has experienced a seizure while doing his most favorite thing to do on the playground and that is to swing. Sure, he has had a seizure while we were out hiking. But today was different my son fell off the swing on the playground on his face and had a seizure. That is the side of the story that you don’t see.

Sure, I make it look like everything is under control. I show up and I smile on social media, because I have too, but on days like this one, I truly want to scream. I want to scream because of all that my son has had to endure and what he continues to endure because of my ignorance, when it came to vaccines. It’s true, seizures are a side effect of vaccines and a whole host of other issues, such as cancer in children.

But I digress. Our country is changing and not for the better. Every value that you may currently hold dear is slipping away because everyone has decided that compliance is safe and the government would never harm it’s people. You are wrong! The government would and is harming it’s people for the so called “greater good.” And I refuse to allow myself or my children to be subjected to such calculated unrelenting evil.

So, while my day to day experiences may be of no concern to you, please know that what I experience may soon become the norm, not only in children, but in adults, who could have said no, but chose not to out of fear instead of knowledge.

You have been warned and prayed for, but if you continue down this path, please do not look to me for answers. I will be too busy doing what I always do and that is protecting and providing for my children with every fiber of my being. I just pray that there is still time for you.

Always,

AngelaChristine