American, Belief, Faith, Family, Freedom, Love

The South Might Not Be Right For You

Barn

I am a Southern girl, plain and simple. I have no aspirations to live anywhere else. I tried Chicago when I was in my early thirties, but two winters in the “Windy City”, made it abundantly clear, I would never fit in. The idea of wearing “long johns” under your clothes well into Spring is just not appealing. But I digress; Chicago, in all of its splendor is just not my kind of town or vibe. You may take the girl out of the country, but you just can’t take the country out of the girl. There are a set of values and sensibilities that were built in during my upbringing that just wouldn’t allow me to thrive there. So, I returned to the South and have never looked back.

Though, I moved back to home state of North Carolina after I left Chicago, a series of life events later led me to Georgia and of course the death of my son in February of 2022, led me to the heart of Dixie, also known as Alabama and once again, I haven’t looked back. While it may have surprised my family and friends back in North Carolina and Georgia even, that I would make such a bold move, I know that I hit the jackpot on this side of heaven when we moved here.

After praying, researching and visiting we decided to make northern Alabama our new home and after six months of renting, we knew it was time to put down some roots, so we bought our home in February, exactly one year and seven days after the death of our beloved, Ethan.

Here is what I want you to know, no matter what the elites may say about the south, here is the truth, we love God, we love our families and we love our country. We love our values and our traditions and we refuse to compromise or bow down to the woke mob no matter how many obscenities or censoring they do. We answer to God and it is Him alone that we want to please or at least that is the case in my house. There is no better quote to me, than what Joshua, had to say, thousands of years ago, “And if it seems evil to you to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15. Friend, that is the exact quote you will see when you enter my house.

So, if serving the Lord or living an upright moral life is not for you, please be advised that the south is not for you. We don’t want a new way of living that will violate, what we believe and know to be true. By the way, that is not being hateful. Telling you the truth is the ultimate act of love.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

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Faith, Family, Reflections

Time Away

I admit it, I’ve neglected this space for quite some time. It’s not because I intended too, my brain has just been busy with obligations that have kept me from sitting quietly to write about what matters most…. God and family.

I’m reading and spending time in the word daily, I am trying my best to lead my teenage daughter by example and ensure that she is as engaged in the youth group at church and keeping up with her studies. But there are still times when the cares of the world pull so heavily on me that I just collapse from the weight of it all.

Two weeks ago, I bought a house. It was time for us to put down some roots once again. We are officially, Alabamans and though that is not a name I ever thought I’d carry, I see God’s hand so clearly in bringing us here. You see God knows exactly what we need and where we need to be, if we have faith and lean wholly into Him. I’m learning to do that here.

While I can say that my job is a thorn in my side, I am grateful for it because it is a daily reminder of why I need to trust and consult God in everything. My life is more than a job or checking a box. My life is meant to be lived in submission to God, sanctified and holy.

I guess what I am trying to is that I am back and ready to serve.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Faith, Love, Mindset, Reflections

Reflection and Resolution

I’m here. My daughter is here. We are embarking on a new year and a new life with one less, my son, her brother. Even though it’s been almost a year, it still feels fresh. An open wound still not ready to close. Though, I could sit here and cry and feel sorry for myself, because I could, but I would then be denying the power of Jesus Christ in the midst of midst of my sorrow. He has never forsaken or forgotten me, He has kept every single one of His promises.

God knows and knew what He was doing when He took my boy to be with Him. For a long time, it felt like I was being punished. I still feel that way at times. But, then I reflect on all of the blessings that I have received and continue to receive even in this season of loss, this grief. There are so many emotions right now, knowing that I will never see my boy grow up. He will in my heart and mind always be eleven.

As I look forward to this new year, I will never forget what happened in 2022, a part of me will be gone forever, but through it all, I am growing stronger day by day. And I have a loving Father, who is the same today, tomorrow and forever. That is a huge comfort to me. I can believe in Him, I can trust in Him and I can share the gospel and live faithfully until my natural death. While I wait to be reunited one day with Ethan. I will accept His continual refinement so that my life might be an example of His mercy and His grace. After all, diamonds are produced under pressure.

So, what are my plans for 2023, you may ask. Stay tuned, I have so much to share. But until then know this, I will shed the remnants of fear and scarcity, that have followed me for many years. My life is too full now for those two to have any place in it. That is why for 2023, I’m going to happily invest in both of my businesses and I will continue to study the scriptures so that I might be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks for the reason for the hope that is in me.

This is not a resolution but it is a commitment to grow outside of the fear and to walk in the victory of Christ. I hope that you will join me.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Family, Grief, Love, Reflections

As We Say Goodbye

You all know that 2022, has been a heart crushing year for me. Unspeakable pain. But in midst of the worst pain, Jesus has held me. He has provided and protected us and held us up and when it was impossible for either of us to stand on our own, He carried us.

And when knew it was time for us to move, He sent us to the one place that I never would have chosen myself, Northern Alabama. After living here since August, I can emphatically say that I’m so glad that I didn’t choose. When I prayed and asked Him to place us where we could grow in the word and expand His kingdom, He answered my prayer and has turned to beauty what were ashes.

God has gifted us with friends, that are more like family, Emily is involved in so much with the youth group at church, that I’ve become her chauffeur. In fact, she just attended her first sleep away camp this past week. She was so impressed and truly enjoyed being there. I’ve linked the video from there last night here. https://youtu.be/r6KdR6vN71U

The classes and the Bible studies for the adults at church has been like attending Bible college and in late January something big is coming to us, so stay tuned for that announcement.

I guess the point of this post is to say that, though we may think we know what’s best for us, only God knows exactly what we need and when. So as we close out this year and ring in the new, I’m going to praise Him and glorify Him even more because I know and I remember from whence I came.

“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Happy New Year!!

AngelaChristine

Just us
Faith, Family, Grief

The Road We Traveled To Get Here

Everyone wants to be loved, it is our fundamental and most basic emotion that we need to endure this life. Lives absent of love are hard, difficult and incredibly lonely.

I was in my late thirties, married and pregnant with my first child, when the unthinkable happened. My mother, my sister in Christ and very best friend died. That was the first time, that I felt to my core the absence of love. It was the first time that I felt truly alone and inconsolable. On that day, I could not imagine how I could possibly live this life without the one person who knew me better than anyone, including my husband.

I forged ahead for my daughter. I put a bandaid over that chest wound and busied myself with preparation of becoming a mother. I was fine. I functioned convincingly, until the next worst thing happened. Ethan had his first seizure at my dad’s wedding. I was forever changed that day. I left my body in anguish that day, hearing every voice around me, but incapable of responding. I only returned, when I heard the paramedic say, “your son needs you, please snap out of it!” He was right, Ethan needed me from that day forward. I became Ethan’s person and he became mine.

Countless doctors, a big from North Carolina to Georgia, with the bright eyed belief that I would find the answers that would take the seizures and autism away. I read, I researched, I consulted. He would improve and then he would slide back. Always following those seizures. I hate seizures.

With every setback I forged ahead, determined that the ship would turn for my Ethan. He was my focus. Eventually my body broke down, autoimmunity moved into my once healthy body. One month later, it became too much for husband to bear, so with a simple text, he wanted out. For nine months, we occupied the same house. He filed for divorce, I accepted without a fight. Why? Because it never should have been. A divorce was the relief that I needed to fight for my son and to nurture my daughter without the demands of a counterfeit marriage.

Life became harder, but then it would get better. Ethan would do well and just when I thought we had cleared a hurdle, there would be something. But we always rebounded. Always. But then one day, we didn’t. Ethan died. And once again, that deep gut wrenching hurt absence of love came back. How could this have happened? Countless ambulance rides, two life threatening weeks in the hospital. But we always turned it around. Until we didn’t. Why Lord, why?

I still think about that day and wonder why or what I could have done. I know that even if God gave me an answer, what comfort would it give me? Ethan isn’t coming back. I have to go to him.

So, when I prayed and asked for direction for Emily and I, He led us to northern Alabama. The one place I never expected to live but now can’t imagine living anywhere else.

While I still don’t understand why my life had to go this way, I can say that my soul is no longer wandering, because I have finally found my home.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Road with fallen leaves

Belief, Faith, Grief, Mindset

Something to Celebrate

I firmly believe that when you prioritize God above all else, blessings just come. Tonight was such an occasion. I am happy to report that on my first attempt, I successfully passed my Functional Nutrition Certification exam! 🎉🎉

Though my heart is still heavy because my boy is not here to celebrate with me, it is because of him that I started this wellness journey.

Please stay tuned for more details that I will share over the coming weeks as I begin to set up my practice.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

To God be the glory!

AngelaChristine

*official certification to be mailed.

Officially certified
Faith, Love, Reflections

Without You

Who would I be without You? Without You, my life would be a heap of ashes, without a hope and without a future. Without You, I would barely be hanging on. Without You, my words would have no meaning, my life a waste. Without you, I would be unsaved and destined for damnation. Without You, I’d never know that love is patient and is kind.

I pray that I will never forget, Who you are and all you have done for me; because I never want to live this life without You.

“With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!” Psalm 119:10

In Christ alone,

AngelaChristine

View during walk after dinner

Belief, Faith, Family, Friendship

Tiny Little Miracles

It’s hard to believe that we have been here for three weeks. So much has happened in such a short time that it’s impossible to not see God’s hand in this move. We have visited three churches of Christ, since we have been here and have already made good friends. Through these friendships, we have been able to connect with the homeschooling community. Emily is enrolled in piano, will start tennis lessons after Labor Day and will also get to participate in Fall planting at my sister in Christ’s home next month. Needless the say, as I sit here typing out this post, tears are streaming down my face as I reflect on how good God is and has been since we made this move. Though it was extremely hard in the preparation, I am appreciative that Huntsville, is woven into our journey to heaven.

Today has been busy, following worship this morning, we were invited to the home of a family from church for lunch. Not only was the meal delicious, but everything on our plates came from their backyard. Even the kombucha that was served with our meal was homemade. The meal was followed by a tour of their homestead, and if that was not enough, they gifted us with more wonderful vegetables to take home. The one surprise at lunch was the rabbit. I’ve always been hesitant about eating rabbit, but decided today that I would expand my horizons. So, I ate it with gratitude and to my surprise it was quite tasty.

If I had to put a cap on my day, it was that I was able to leave my daughter at the church building this evening after Bible study for her first youth event. She had a great time and made some new friends. She was the primary driver for this move, because I wanted to have her surrounded by other children her age, growing in Christ. God has taken us from isolated to invited and welcomed.

With all of this wonderful happening to us, my heart still aches because Ethan is not here with us to experience this too. In fact, I feel guilty that we are able to live this life without him. It seems so unfair. In fact, I still can’t comprehend that my life is so radically different now. That God would have me go on without my heartbeat, my precious boy. It still hurts so deeply.

Though, I don’t understand, I will cling to my Lord and Savior, trusting that one day I will see Ethan again as he should have always been, whole and well.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:15&16

In Christine love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Family

Sweet Home Alabama

There is so much to share that I don’t even know where to begin. My daughter and I embarked upon a journey that relocated us from the state that we had grown to call home to a place that seemed so foreign when God placed it on my heart. Probably like many of the early Americans when they left family to travel out west to set up a new homestead.

But here it’s different or maybe I am different. I am different. Or perhaps, it’s the relatability or the way we were welcomed into church on Sunday as though they had been waiting for us to arrive. Or maybe it’s just the door that opened because He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. Whatever that, it is, I am grateful that we can now call, Alabama our home. ❤️

Being a native of North Carolina, I would never have thought I could live in Alabama. Truth be told I felt the same way about Georgia.

Thank you, Alabama for welcoming us with open arms.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Grief, Love

Walking Through Sorrow

It’s been four months since my precious son left this life and there isn’t one day that I don’t think of him. It’s not possible for me to forget the joy that he brought into my life. He made me a warrior, a fighter, he made me brave.

I try to stay busy, because sitting with my thoughts for too long is too hard. I have to pack, but it seems like I barely get started before I stop. I know that it needs to be done, but for some reason, I can find a million distractions. I wonder if it’s because part of me feels like packing makes his death final or is just a reminder that this next journey doesn’t include him.

I know that God has him. There is no doubt in my mind that he is healed and happy. I’m just sad that it didn’t happen for me to see. Sometimes, I find myself calling him to come and give me a hug, I just want to hold him and snuggle. But he doesn’t come. Maybe he doesn’t miss me in the way that I miss him.

I still wonder why he had to leave and I know that I may never get the answers that I am seeking. I guess I just want to know why I had to go through another hurt so deep that breathing hurts. But God doesn’t owe me an explanation so I’ll accept that His grace is sufficient.

Besides I guess none of us gets to leave this planet without some amount of sorrow. Just seems that I have had enough for two lifetimes. Maybe there is a lesson in that for me to learn. I guess, I need to figure it out, because I am tired of walking through sorrow and having grief as a constant companion.

Perhaps, I’ll wake up one day and grief will be gone and if she is, I pray that I am ready for the day.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Morning Kisses