Belief, Mindset

We Are What We Believe

What occupies your mind? Does your work align with your values and beliefs?

I spent nearly 24 years of my life trading my time for a paycheck. In that time, I sacrificed what was most important, not because i wanted to, but because I thought that I had no choice. Ultimately, my only son died as a result of choices that I thought we right, but later learned that they were wrong, it was a hazard of the profession that I had chosen.

Since my son’s death I have had many sleepless nights and more time to study the Bible and to remember what my purpose is here on this earth. I have had the opportunity to speak to my sisters in Christ about maintaining their physical health and the best gift was witnessing my daughter commit her life to Christ through baptism into his kingdom. Acts 2:38.

We only get one life and in the grand scheme of it all, it is short. So while there is still breath in my body, I will heed the advice of King Solomon, who penned, “ The end of the matter, all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.”
Ecclesiastes 12:13&14

So again, I ask, “what occupies your mind?”

Belief, Faith, Family, Holidays

Why I No Longer Celebrate Christmas

I’m sure that this post will come as a bit of a shock for most people who know me personally as well as those who read this blog, I will no longer be celebrating the holiday known as Christmas. My reasons are simple, there are no scriptural references to this holiday and two it is rooted in idolatry and not the gospel. Christmas was first celebrated in 336 AD, three hundred and three years after the church of Christ was established in Jerusalem. https://www.christianity.com/church/church-history/timeline/301-600/the-1st-recorded-celebration-of-christmas-11629658.html

Sure, I celebrated Christmas as a child with my family. I have the fondest memories of Nana(my mother’s mother) coming over first thing in the morning to open gifts and have breakfast with us. I remember waking up before the sun came up just to see what was under the tree for me and to make sure that my brothers didn’t receive more than I did. Oh and of course there was Christmas dinner at my other grandmother’s house every Christmas evening, until we moved to Florida. So many beautiful memories are tied to that holiday. But when I shifted from child to adult, the real celebration was my mother’s birthday. She was actually born on December 25.

It’s been thirteen years since her death and the idea of celebrating another commercial holiday without her is just not something I am looking forward to. If you’ve read this far, you’re probably saying to yourself, what about your children, don’t you want to make the holiday special for them? Of course I would, but what made this holiday special for me and for others is the joy of family. They don’t have that. There is no family nearby to celebrate with. Not even close friends. There are no gifts from their grandfather, uncles or cousins to put under the tree. It is once again just us.

If I were to decorate the tree and plan out the day, the only people that would be present would be just us three. There will no gifts or invitations to celebrate the day. Always us. While I could create traditions of our own, what would be the point? Their only memories of the day they don’t have to celebrate would be of their mom stretching herself and running herself ragged just to place a few gifts under the tree. What would be different then about that day than any other day of the year?

So yes, we will create a new tradition and that it will always include spending time together, traveling and perhaps doing something that we have not done previously. It might even be a day of watching family movies and cooking and eating family meals that we prepared together. But it will not be spending like crazy on a day that has absolutely nothing to do with my salvation or theirs.

I will never criticize anyone for celebrating Christmas, because it is certainly a personal choice. But as for us, we will abstain and do something else. We will rejoice and be glad that Jesus came to earth and died on the cross for our sins and rose from the grave so that we might have salvation. And that is worth celebrating!

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Faith, Family, Reflections

Why Isn’t He Enough?

When my life doesn’t reflect Jesus Christ, I have to ask myself why isn’t he enough? I am sure that most Christians have asked themselves that question at some point on their journey too; so in that respect I am not alone. But why? What keeps us from full devotion and commitment, when Jesus has given us salvation through the shedding of his blood. How do we look at the Messiah, who bore all the sins of the world on the cross and still think or act like he is not enough?

Obviously, I know that he is more than enough, that he is perfect and divine. A light so bright that the world could not contain him. But when I sit down at the end of day and question whether my life truly reflects him, what I see, at times is not his reflection but my own.

It is not easy being a single parent, let alone the single parent of a child with special needs. While also trying to parent a child who just wants to live a typical pre-teen life but can’t much of the time because of how much she has to help me. I think often of how different my children’s lives are than my own upbringing. I was raised with both my parents in a solidly Christian home, yet somehow that is not the life that I have managed to provide to my children. I ask the Lord daily to help me, to guide me to do all the things that I am required to do. But I have to admit, there are times that I am inadequate and fall short.

I know, I can never be perfect, but I can be complete through total surrender to the will of Christ. It is that space between my will and his will where I challenge him and make him not enough. I wrestle with submission, not that I know better or that I can do better, but that I haven’t learned to trust. You see, I am the one that will not leave my burdens on him, because in my mind, I should have to live with the consequences of my choices. That’s right, my choices, that were most likely not rooted in him.

I am grateful for a Savior who forgives and redeems and knows in my heart, that I love him. As a wild horse has to be broken in to be ridden, it is my prayer that from this day and for as many days as I have left, that I will finally surrender my all and make him enough.

The Bible says, “Let is hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Mindset

All It Takes

I get so caught up in my own head at times to the point that I forget my purpose. I was not put on this planet to be busy doing things, but to spend my days in service to God and my neighbors. God’s plan is so simple, that it’s almost too hard. It requires selflessness and as a human, preserving self is our highest priority. Our culture is obsessed with self. Including me at times.

Please don’t misunderstand what I am saying, loving one’s self is important, it is. Loving oneself protects us from harm and hurt. But in today’s culture it has become almost a religion to the point where a whole industry, if you will has developed from it. We don’t see ourselves through the lens of our Creator, and that is a very sad and deceitful thing. Why? Because man is fickle and foolish at times. “The Bible says, “there is a way that seems right to a man, but it’s end is the way of death.” Proverbs 14:12.

And though it isn’t wrong to pursue self improvement, it is wrong to make it our highest goal. Becoming saved and living a saved and sanctified life is, as Christians. But there are times, when help is needed to get out of our own way for a specific purpose and season, which will look differently for each person, because we are after all individuals.

I have personally invested in a business leadership coach to help me grow my network marketing business and to identify my niche. It was worth it! But here is the thing, I chose to work with a sister in Christ, because her course was in alignment with the word of God and that is to serve. She believed as do I that you can lead a team of people and glorify God at the same time. They are not mutually exclusive nor should they be. And to be honest that is all it takes.

When I focus on my feelings and thoughts on myself, I don’t write or serve. But when I make it my priority to lean into God, all the things I desire to do happen. My life is hard as a divorced mom of two, raising a neuro typical child and a child with autism on my own. But when I put all of my trust in God, check my heart and remain consistent, He blesses us in a mighty way. So, each day I will wake and remind myself to lean into Him because that is truly all it takes.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Family

While I Wait

Soar Like Eagles

I want to tell you that everything is okay, but if I did, I’d be lying.

I want to tell you that my leg is all healed up and I’m back to life as usual.

I also want to tell you that now that I am no longer receiving round the clock care, that I’m managing it all, but again, I would be lying.

You see on Friday, when the weight of it all hit me, I broke down. I cried like I haven’t cried in a while. I even screamed, asking God, why does it have to be this hard? When my daughter broke down and cried and asked me the same question and I couldn’t give her an answer that a 12 year old would fully understand, I cried even more.

Friday, was a sad day for my family. Sorrow filled. But then we woke up on Saturday morning to the most glorious sunshine and weather. It was God’s promise that mercies are made new every morning. It was also Him telling me that He sees us and we are not forgotten. It was Him hugging us. I so desperately needed that hug.

Then, today as we sat and listened to the message preached by my dear brother in Christ, Chad Garett, about sorrow, “ The Sorrowed Soul”, it resonated so deeply because of all the emotions over the past two days. He had no idea, how much I needed that message; not because it captured all of my emotions right now, but because there is absolutely nothing that I am experiencing right now in this moment that Jesus does not understand and cannot relate too. Every tear, every pain, every doubt and every fear, he feels and is moved by. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15.

So, while this weekend has had a lot of tears and sorrow, I am choosing to trust that God is holding me and my children. “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Cancer, Faith, Family, Mindset

Standing In That Space

Valley of my life

What I try not to remember, is exactly what I need to remember, not to relive it or even give it a place in my life, but to finally say “I am done, these memories no longer serve me.” It is time to say goodbye and bury them once and for all.

Since my surgery six weeks ago, bits and pieces of past trauma have crept up into my brain. Almost taunting me to give up a little more of my protection, my shield, my independence. These feelings are so foreign to me now because I have built up a hard shell almost impenetrable to anyone even my children.

At some point in my childhood or maybe as a teenager, when I don’t remember, I made a decision, perhaps self-consciously or otherwise that emotion and feelings were for the weak. Maybe it started when my childhood friend, James committed suicide when I was in the ninth grade. That was my very first experience with death. I can remember that day, like it was yesterday, the kick in my stomach when the words rolled out of my dad’s mouth.

Or perhaps it was the following year, when the funniest guy in my class, Mark, was killed in a car accident, while joyriding with some of our classmates. He was the only in that crash, who did not survive. Then there was my dad’s promotion that required him to relocate at the start of my junior year in high school. New state, new school, no real friends. Once again, another layer of protection applied.

Somehow I managed to get through college and graduate school and start my career before the people closest to me began to die. My aunt Martha, Nana and the ultimate blow, my mom. Of course by the time my mom died the shell around my heart was titanium or some substance that only God could pierce, but only when I wanted him too.

What I have determined is that I do a great job of compartmentalizing to prevent myself from collapsing into the sheer pain of it all. To allow myself to feel that pain would leave me vulnerable and open in a way that would let the world know that I am really not as strong as I want everyone to believe that I am.

I am at my core, the woman that always wanted someone besides my mother and father to say everything is going to be just fine, with conviction. For my husband to say you have a purpose, a hope and a future designed by God. He (God) is standing in the doorway waiting for me to finally give it all to Him.

Though my legs are still wobbly and weak from these weeks of recovery, I will trust in Him. His plans for my life. I will stand in that space until all the pain and sadness have been stripped away from my heart and my mind.

For I know the plans, I have for you declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

American, Belief, Faith, Family, Parenting

Stand In Faith For Your Posterity

Children Playing

As a Christian, we know that this world is not our home, but in America we have now reached a place where Christians are no longer respected but are ridiculed. In some cases, downright hostile to the point of shuttering churches and organizations that reflect our faith.

We cannot even send our children to the government schools without worrying about what they will be exposed to in the curriculum. Then there is the issue of bodily autonomy. The government schools believe that if your child is there, they must be accepting of whatever is taught, passed or mandated. No! Morals and values should be taught at home.

This is not the America that I grew up in. My childhood is filled with memories of parents, teaching and taking their children to church. Teaching them about God and how to live a life for Christ. With many of the teachers holding similar ideals. Though, I am now an advocate for homeschooling and believe it is ideal, I know that for some parents that is a nearly impossible undertaking due to work, life and finances.

So, I suggest this, create the community amongst the people whom you share the same ideals/values, and create the learning environment that you want for your children.

Now is the time to stop asking, mother may I and begin to establish the communities across the country that will best suit your children now and for years to come.

They are your children, given to you by God our Creator to glorify Him in this world. You do not need the government’s permission to parent and raise your children. But you do need, God.

Stand in faith for your posterity (children).

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

American, Freedom, Mindset

A Wise Man’s Heart Inclines To The Right

Let me be clear, I am not speaking of political affiliation here, but instead I am speaking in terms of right versus wrong. Since the beginning of history, man has always tried to change God’s natural law to accommodate his own desires, today is no different.

Remember this, an immoral nation is doomed to fail. Without a moral society, there is no liberty.

Woe to those who call evil good

    and good evil,

who put darkness for light

and light for darkness,

who put bitter for sweet

and sweet for bitter! Isaiah 5:20

Belief, Cancer, Dermatofibrosarcoma protuberans, Faith

Pride Is Not a Virtue

September 25, 2021

I am now four weeks post surgery and while I am feeling better and improving, I thought that now would be a good time to reflect on some very important lessons that I have learned along the way.

One, humbling yourself enough to admit that you can’t do it all is important. I went into this surgery believing that I would just need about a week of strict rest and then I’d be as good as new. Wrong! Turns out I needed more. Still need it, but that’s a conversation for another post. There is a reason that the Bible talks about pride in the way that it does. Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18. Lesson learned here, don’t have so much pride that you are unwilling to ask for help. Check!

Two, people do really want to help and serve. I can honestly say that friends near and far have really tried to help me through this journey in ways that I never could have imagined. Tears still well up in my eyes when I think about it. Even accepting the help has been hard for me, why? Because I guess I didn’t believe that anyone would want to help me. Or that I even deserved it.

Even still as I am writing this post, one of my local mom friends is taking time out of her day to find me a respite person to give me relief from time to time. Guys, even that was something that I wouldn’t even do! Because again, that creepy thinking of I have to do it all myself keeps me from asking for help when I should.

I know that I am not perfect and never will be, but it is my hope to be more like Christ everyday. For the Bible says, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness with brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1: 5&6. While pride isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it certainly doesn’t meet the definition of virtuous.

As I continue this healing journey, it is my prayer that God will surgically remove more of that pride from my heart so that it might be replaced with humility.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. James 4:10

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Current Events, Freedom, Friendship, Lifestyle, Love

A Real Friend

Friends

When you say you love me, but then tell me to go and get the jab when you already know my concerns, because you got it, I have to wonder do you really love me?

A real friend considers my uniqueness and physical differences that may play a role in how, I may respond to the jab.

A real friend understands that what may not cause them harm might cause me harm.

A real friend understands that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I take my personal relationship with Christ, seriously.

A real friend sees me exercising and eating a nutrient dense diet that builds my body and my immune system.

A real friend recognizes that I do my own research and won’t blindly follow the government, media or doctors.

A real friend would warn me, if the road was out up ahead.

A real friend would know me well enough to know that I have made my decision after careful consideration.

A real friend would love me anyway and respect my decision, just as I have respected theirs.

A real friend would understand that one size does not fit all when it comes to medicine.

A real friend would never support any, mandate or rule that discriminates against anyone.

A real friend understands the importance of choice.

But, if my decision to abstain offends her and she determines that we can no longer be friends, I’ll let her know that I still love her as I love myself, which means I’d never knowingly ask her to harm herself to make me feel safe.

I am not scared, and I do not fear being sick as I know illness happens. “yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” James 4:13.

While, I could spend my days worrying about what is happening in the world as many do, my time is better spent doing what Jesus has called me to do, which is sharing the gospel and living a faithful life, while there is still time, because as the Hebrew writer states, “And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes the judgment.” Hebrews 9:27.

Remember this, we have no control over life or death, no one can extend his or her life by one second longer than has been determined by God. “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” Matthew 6:27

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine