Not in love? No problem, neither am I. But that doesn’t mean you and I can’t participate in this season of all things love. In fact, when I began to think about it in the context of being a Christian, this month is especially suited for us. With I Corinthians 13:4-8, in mind, I came up with of list of tips that all of us can do to love and to serve.
Tip #1- Share your favorite scripture with your friends and tell them why it’s your favorite. It’s so easy to become discouraged and sending a note to a friend with your favorite scripture may just be what is needed.
Tip# 2- Write a note to a friend or family member using eye catching stationary and mail it! I know it’s a bit old fashioned, but who doesn’t appreciate receiving a handwritten note from someone special in your life?
Tip #3- Share the name of a book that you read recently that you found extra special. Perhaps do a book exchange.
Tip# 4- Cook a dish that you know your friend would enjoy and use that as an excuse to pay a visit.
Tip #5- Invite a guest to Bible study or to church. How many times, have thought I wish, Abby were here? She would have loved to hear this lesson.
Tip#6- Share your favorite Valentines Day dessert recipe with your best friend.
Tip# 7- Make a batch of hand sanitizer with your favorite essential oil and give it as a gift.
Tip# 8- Go thrifting with your friends. Set a five dollar limit and exchange gifts on Valentines Day.
Tip#9- Offer to watch your friends’ children for afternoon, so that she can take a nap or get a facial.
Tip#10- Actually meet up for coffee. Set a date and keep it!
Tip#11- Go to your favorite exercise class together.
Tip#12- Commit to checking in at least once per week.
Tip# 13- Offer to walk the dog, so your friend can go and see her grandmother in the nursing home.
Tip#14- Go out as a group to celebrate your friendship. The more the merrier!!
While the world may view love from the lens of chocolates and romantic dinners, although very nice, love is so much more! It is abundant, compassionate, durable and it serves others exactly where they are. 💗
I love you, but I can’t sit in that space with you. My days are much too full with work, homeschooling, transporting to this therapy and to that one. Never having more than ten minutes to myself, to think or process. No, that space is much too confining for me.
You see, I have a special needs kid who also happens to have seizures, primarily controlled by medicine, but there have been times when they were not. I’ve ridden ambulances too many times to count. I’ve spent days, a week or two in the hospital after an uncontrolled seizure. So I know fear, I have faced it head on and no, that is why, I cannot sit or be in that space with you.
I know the media has you all up in arms over this virus. Pump the fear, control behavior. It’s a perfect strategy, if you ask me. Ratchet it up enough and motives are never questioned. And right when you think, they may be losing their grip, they up the fear again. The cycle is endless. But I still won’t sit in that space with you.
I had to bury my mother, my best friend, while pregnant with my first child, my daughter. I watched my precious son have a full blown seizure at my dad’s wedding, which I never got to see because I was headed to the hospital in one of the first of many ambulance rides. I was cast aside by my then husband in the midst of my own medical crisis. So you see, I cannot sit in that space of fear.
Fear is a weapon, that is used to control and limit. It’s too overwhelming, it makes me feel even more isolated and alone. So it is not something, I will embrace. The Bible says, “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7. Those are the qualities that this world needs now more than ever.
While it may be easy to sit in my home and listen to the news and entertain the doom and gloom, I will instead choose faith, love and hope because I do love you and I know that when fear is present, I cannot sit in that space.
Why is it so hard to hear God’s voice? Why is it so hard to do what he says? Why is it so easy to live our lives on our terms and only think of God, when all of sudden it becomes too hard? Do we not know or understand James 1:2- ” Count it all joy my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.” Do we think like the world and expect that the world will see us as different when essentially we concern ourselves with the same things non-Christians do?
This last year has given me time to reflect on those questions and to really search my soul. To dig deep into my heart to determine, if my life reflects the Jesus that I claim to love and serve. Honestly, when I study the scriptures and examine my own life, there are several areas that could use some serious work. I mean serious, like tear down and reconstruct work.
I guess, up until the coronavirus and masks became a part of our daily vernacular, I think that I thought that I had my finger on the pulse of my relationship with the Lord. I worshipped every Sunday, studied the Bible with my kids and did my own personal lessons. But this is where it gets interesting. I didn’t exercise my faith. I read, I understood, but I did, what I always do. I did it myself. That’s my default. If God doesn’t answer fast enough or do what I need him to do in that moment, I will find a way to fix, resolve or repair. As if, I could do a better job of managing my life than God. I limited God’s power over my life!! I made him small, while I elevated myself. I did all the things my way.
Fast forward to today, how many people need Jesus? That answer is simple, everyone needs Jesus! But how many people have I passed without proclaiming the name of Jesus Christ? How many times have I not spoken about his love for us because, I too have been consumed with what is happening in the world around me. I guess, I am just angry because many of the people that I know, don’t really recognize what is happening. They don’t seem to process the deception and evil that has taken hold of our nation. Even God’s own people don’t seem to understand or worse, care. It’s as if they are so consumed by the cares of this world to the point, that the idea that Jesus could return at any moment is the furthest thing from their minds. Mine too, if I am being honest, because I am still attached. There is a reason that the Apostle Paul, writes “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2. I want to care more about Jesus than our current state of affairs.
Our country is in the midst of ungodliness, perhaps too far gone, but that is nothing new to God. Throughout every period of history man has found a way to dishonor themselves and God. What is also true is that, God has always provided for the righteous. Always. And he has always created a path for his children to share the gospel. So, while I may feel disheartened at times by the state of our nation, it is never okay to not be busy doing the will of my father in heaven and allowing everyone to see Jesus in me. I am aware of what is going on around me, but it is more important for me to spend my time telling people about the one who saves and gives us everlasting life. It is only in him, that I will find my peace.
I am sometimes asked why now, why network marketing? “Why would you give up your career in the pharmaceutical industry for something that is um well, uncertain?” The answer is simple, two words, Emily and Ethan. I have spent their entire lives as a part time mother, never fully engaged or all in because there is always one thing or another pulling for my attention. The biggest being my job. Even now as a single working mother, it is abundantly clear that what they need most is me. An all in mother to make things feel somewhat normal.
Yes, I know what you’ll say, “they just have to understand you have to work.” But do they? They are children, they are living through their parents divorce and the parent they are with all the time, just doesn’t have time.
I only get one life to live and working to build someone else’s dream is not what I would call, life to the full ( not knocking anyone for their choice). Our lives are so much more. God called me to be a mother, to nurture and to guide my children back to Him. How is that even possible to do when everyday is an exercise in tug of war?
I get that everyone has choices to make, and my choices may not be your cup of tea. That’s cool. What most people don’t know or understand is I live on constant alert. I never know when my son might have a seizure or get sick. There is no pause, rewind or replay. This is my life. Not complaining, very grateful to work from home, but when these episodes occur, work stops. Other activities full stop.
I guess I am writing all of this to say, that everyone has their “why” for joining network marketing and as varied as their reasons may be the common denominator is people just want time freedom and financial freedom. No job will ever give you that. This is not a hobby or a side hustle for me. It is a lifestyle. I am a Christian Entrepreneur growing a future for myself and my children and I am not going to apologize for that.
Whatever you hold onto in your mind, that is not beneficial, is the beginning of disease in your body. If you’re wondering how I could make such a bold statement, let me explain. In our society today, we hear quite regularly about mindset and how important it is to accomplishing anything. For example, I have a nascent network marketing business and in our field, mindset is everything. We stress all the time that the belief in one’s self is the key to creating growth and interest. We pay hundreds maybe thousands of dollars to learn from the experts on how to grow our businesses, how to attract customers, how to serve, influence, etc. The list goes on. But it doesn’t stop with this industry, we talk mindset in sports, on the job, or pretty much anything that you can think of, but I rarely hear anything about mindset when it comes to our physical health. I wonder if looking beyond what we can measure, quantify or see will move us in the direction of optimal health versus the allopathic model of declining is health inevitable.
Now, that I am enrolled in a Functional Nutrition program, with the goal of becoming a certified Nutritional Counselor, I have had the opportunity to contemplate what true or optimal health actually is. This is important because when I begin taking clients it will be necessary for me to see them and not just what is presented on a piece of paper or lab report. Although important, that information is only part of the whole. Just recently, I began reading a book called ” Molecules of Emotion” written by Candace B. Pert, Ph.D, and it made me think that perhaps dis-ease is not necessarily rooted in the physiology or anatomy, but is instead rooted much more deeply, perhaps in spiritual and emotional trauma that may later manifest itself in the form of a physical or psychological ailment that leads to specific, signs, symptoms or diagnoses.
This is fascinating for several reasons. Years ago, my now almost twelve year daughter was diagnosed with eczema and allergies. After seeing her eczema worsen after each allergy shot, I thought to myself, this can’t be the right approach so that led to my first step into the world of “alternative” medicine. I took her to see a Naturopath and after several months, probably a year, her eczema and allergies resolved. Because of my daughter’s success I sought the help of that same naturopath for my son, who by that time, age three, had been diagnosed with iatrogenic autism, in other words he wasn’t born with it. We tried a number of remedies that he responded to, but they just weren’t quite enough for him to lose his diagnosis, but it never prevented me from forging ahead because my mind was rooted in the physical. I could only process what I could measure, quantify and see.
After several sessions, my Naturopath said something to me that I had never heard before that actually made me pay attention, actually it made me cry. She said that “you and your son are more connected than you realize; when you heal yourself, you will heal him.” What? Her words made no sense to me. I was physically fine, there was nothing wrong with me. I wanted her to help me to fix him. I didn’t need to hear anything about myself. My son needed her help, not some motivational speech. I’d like to say that I stopped and truly heeded her guidance, but alas I did not. I actually relocated my family to another state for what I thought would be the answer, it wasn’t. I did however, finally get diagnosed with my own autoimmune condition, I got divorced and faced the reality that what I had been doing was not the entire answer at all. There was a missing piece.
Which brings me to the point of this post, yes, our bodies do have physical disorders that need to be addressed, but perhaps addressing what is rooted in the mind, will allow the seeds of optimal healing to germinate and move us beyond our perceived reality to what is possible when we marry our beliefs with the tools that bring nurture and healing to our bodies.
One of my most favorite passages of scripture is the story of the woman who had an issue with blood for many years, Mark 5:25-34. This woman had suffered under the care of physicians and spent countless dollars for twelve years, when she decided that if she could just touch the hem of Jesus’ garment, she would be made well. Yes, I know you’re going to say that she touched Jesus and that is true, but I think the root of her healing began before she touched him. Her mindset changed and she then knew who her healing would come from. Unfortunately, we no longer believe. Our faith is so shallow now that, if the a doctor says it can’t be done, it can’t be done. We question nothing and we close ourselves off from joy.
Let me make this a little more personal, my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in April 2004. Obviously, that news was devastating to our entire family. Me in particular because I worked in the pharmaceutical industry, specifically on clinical trials, (the period before the drug is approved for commercial use) so I knew that her diagnosis was a death sentence. I even called her oncologist and spoke with him about her prognosis. His professional opinion was that my mother would be dead in six months. I drove home that weekend hearbroken, with the idea that I would be saying good-bye to my best friend in a few short months. You see how easily I believed words of that doctor? I let his dispassion override my own beliefs. Confident in my own experience and abilities, I tried to discuss my mother’s options, but being the faithful woman that she was, she hugged me and she said that she was going to see her grandchildren grow up, and she would see me get married. Say what? Once again, my belief was not there. I thought that I was being the adult and responsible in the direction that I tried to give. I was in that moment, still the child in need of direction from my mother, I was the one who was unwell, even though it was her body that held the cancer.
She did get to see me get married on the Island of St. Lucia and she had more time with her already born grandchildren. And it was my mother who told me I was pregnant before I took the home pregnancy test and it was my mother that told me in my swollen belly was a girl that would carry her name, Emily. That was in August of 2008. My mother did not pass from this life until October 5, 2008, her namesake was delivered healthy that following February. My mother’s faith and her belief that she could be well gave her four more years when the doctors said it would only be six months at best.
What if what we believe is truly the key that unlocks the door to optimal healing?
The kitchen, is the heart of the home. It’s typically the gathering space that we associate with family, fellowship and food. It’s where decisions are made, homework is done, it’s where amazing meals are planned and cooked. It can also be the place of not so great, sometimes very messy meals that are ultimately tossed in the trash and replaced with takeout. Whatever it is to you, I suspect that at the center, is love.
Pretty much from the moment that I knew that I was going to have children, it became my priority to improve my cooking skills. It was the idea of life growing inside my body that made me want to challenge myself to create the most wholesome meals, I could imagine. In my mind, I channeled Rachael Ray and Bobby Flay when I made anything, salad, soup, salmon, whatever it was, it had to be just right. When my daughter started daycare at the age of one, her teacher would comment often on how she had the best meals in her class because they were homemade, not prepackaged or ready to eat. Those compliments meant the world to me, because although I worked full time, I still do by the way, my daughter had real food everyday. I continued that tradition when my son was born, because to me food nourishes and it restores.
In this season of coronavirus, where the dictates have been isolation and separation, I have often wondered if more time at home has given families the opportunity to return to the tradition of family meals together or to create new traditions where the kitchen has become the soul of the home once more. Perhaps, with the children learning to cook, spending time at the table discussing all the things. Maybe doing school and work side by side. Or maybe it has become the place to sit and talk and reconnect. It is my prayer that more connecting or reconnecting is happening in the room that is known for gathering.
Open up your homes. Invite your extended family, friends and neighbors over to eat, have a cup of coffee, laugh and fellowship. Our kitchens can and should be once again, the heart and soul of our homes and the place to remember that we are connected and that is a beautiful thing!
I started this blog, sort of as a way to make sense of my life following my divorce, but I think it has now become my place to write commentary on what is happening in the world, the United States in particular and how it relates to my Christian walk.
Writing about current events has never been my plan, but it seems it’s pretty much the only way I can express how utterly disappointed, I am in how easily and eagerly, the American people have begun to bow down to Baal.
Let’s be clear, this downward spiral, didn’t begin four years ago. It began much earlier. It began when the country decided to replace God with whatever idol suited them. Sure, I know we have freedom of religion in our country, but there used to be a set morals and values that we were all united under. We knew right from wrong. In 2021, righteousness is frowned upon. Clinging to identity and socio-economic status are everything.
Even Christians have fallen victim to being Social Justice Warriors.
I don’t know about you, but these past nine to ten months have weighed so heavily on me, not so much because of the virus itself, but because of the lack of discernment about it. No one questions the narrative put out by our government or the media. It is just expected that every American will accept the dogma without question. The average American still believes that this virus is killing people in unprecedented numbers. All you have to do is look at the data to know that in fact is not true. https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2020/09/25/cdc-data-shows-high-virus-survival-rate-99-plus-for-ages-69-and-younger-94-6-for-older/
Alas, fear has taken hold and time marches on. Small businesses have to alter how they do business or close, churches are afraid to resume services, friends are afraid to spend time together and god forbid that family’s should gather to celebrate the holiday season or just to visit. And for what, to slow the spread of a virus? Where is the science to prove that is even possible? We are only just beginning to see the long term implications of such draconian measures.
There is so much more that I could cover here, but that really isn’t the point of this post. At the core of this, it’s about finding peace in the midst of this terrible. This is about doing justly, loving kindness and walking humbly with God.
When we turn away from evil, and return to the will of God, our nation can be restored. It is possible! Remember, God is patient, not wanting anyone to perish but requires us to all come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9.
God is waiting on us to become His nation once more. Are you ready, are you willing to cast aside the idols that have pulled us to this place? It’s not too late.
I wrote this last year after my father and his wife came for a visit. That morning started off a bit rough because only hours before their arrival my son, Ethan had a seizure. I could use that as a reason, but if the truth be told it was primarily because my relationship with my dad had been strained for quite sometime and I wasn’t quite ready for their visit.
As I reflect on that day once more, I am so grateful that I did not allow anger and resentment me to ruin their visit for so many reasons. But the number one reason, is you never know what the future holds. On that day, I had no way of knowing that my father would once again be a widower. 😢
But God! He knew that I needed reconciliation and so by His divine will, He orchestrated a better day than I could have imagined for all of us. Happiness and joy filled my home that day. You were loved and you are missed Ms. Marjorie.❤️
It’s hard to believe a year has passed since I wrote this original post after my dad and Marjorie came to visit.
Provision and Restoration. Those two words showed up today and hugged me until tears ran down my face.
I was not expecting it, I expected tension and resentment or at least those were the guests I had prepared for at my table (thankfully, I had some wise counsel last night who had cautioned me against being battle ready) so after praying and sleeping on their words, I decided this morning that the best action would be to let Jesus to take the wheel. Even though, I had predetermined would be difficult.
So, what happened you ask? A very important person walked back into my life today after a four year hiatus (restoration) along with a person I had found challenging to embrace, but who ended up giving me an amazing gift (provision) that I never would have expected. Like never.
Today, I learned several valuable lessons, first life is way too short to hold onto past hurts and disappointments, two, Jesus’ yoke is easy and not burdensome, three, when you have the mind of Christ, your vision is perfect and your heart is renewed.
All of the trials we have conquered together, all of the miles we have traveled together, all of the suffering that you have experienced in your short lives, every sacrifice, I make is for you two. Your hopes and dreams are always front and center in my mind. Your future is my ever present motivation. I will not give up.
Whatever it takes according to God’s will, I will be, no, I am a Diamond rising to provide you with a legacy that will extend beyond all of the hills and valleys I traveled to get there.
#Bible 
One Mom Growing in her Faith with Grace 