Category: Belief

Belief, Faith, Family, Grief, Love, Sadness

What Have I Learned Over These Past Two Years?

Angela Ireland

What have I learned over the past two years since the death of my dear Ethan? That is a hard question, but I will do my best to summarize a few.

First, I pray that anyone reading this never has to experience the loss of their child. There are just no words to describe that level of pain. And for anyone who still believes or says, “God will never put more on you than you can handle,” please retire that statement. It’s not biblical and it is not helpful.

Look at what the Apostle Paul writes here about tremendous pain and struggle.

“For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. [9] Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. [10] He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again”. 2 Corinthians 1:8-10

While we don’t know specifically what occurred in Asia, we do know that it was so bad that he felt like they had received the sentence of death. Here is the point, instead of walking away and doubting God, they relied on Him to deliver them from their peril or situation. They stayed the course. In this valley, I too have learned to rely on God and stay the course.

The second point, I’ll make is that only God, can heal this kind of hurt.

The Bible says in Psalm 34:18- The LORD is near to the brokenhearted

and saves the crushed in spirit and in

Psalm 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

When people ask me how I have been able to keep going, I tell them this. I take God at His word. In Matthew 5:4, He says, this,

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

I cannot tell you how true that is. So many people came to my side to help me. There is still much goodness in the world. God does bring the people into your life that can comfort you and support when the best you can do is breathe.

Fourth, I can do the hard things. I relocated us to Alabama in August of 2022, knowing no one. But because of who God is, God gave us a biblically sound church family and opportunities to serve and to glorify Him in His kingdom.

Would I have wanted to lose my son, to be here now? No, but I have the hope in knowing that though Ethan went ahead of me, if I endure to the end I will someday be in the presence of Jesus and see my beautiful boy again.

“But the one who endures to the end will be saved.” Matthew 24:13

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Before worship
Belief, Current Events, Faith, Friendship, Love, Mindset

Who Is Pulling Your Strings?

Angela Ireland

Who benefits from your anger and hatred? Is it you? And in what way?

Does your life expand positively because you hate your neighbor or your co-worker? If it does, how?

Do you get a warm and cozy feeling, when your government tells you to a pick a side? If it does, would you please share with all of us?

Would you have visited your friend in the hospital, if you hadn’t heard on the news that because of the color of their skin you can’t be friends?

Or I know, this side or the other is better because they agree with everything you believe and say?

What if I told you that your real enemy is the one that you can’t see pulling the strings, would you believe me? Or would you just say I can’t believe you because they didn’t say that on the news? Or in the school?

Have you ever stepped back to consider, who may benefit from your hatred and your blues? Is it really your co-worker or neighbor or the random person in the store?

Or is there more?

The Bible says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” I Peter 5:8

Friends, your enemy is not the person that you work with or doesn’t look like you. It is the one that allows the devil to rule in their lives. That includes your favorite celebrities and authorities.

It is also the people who benefit from pain and suffering. Those hidden from sight.

The next time the media or the government tells you to believe something, ask yourself, who benefits from division and strife? I can almost guarantee you, it isn’t who you think it is.

In Christian love,

Angela

Upside down
Belief, Faith, Family, Friendship, Mindset

Who Is My Family?

Angela Ireland
At the end of our visit

This is an overdue post. I should have written it in the midst of the visit, but I was enjoying the fellowship too much to pen it all down until now.

Last week, I had the opportunity to put my money where my mouth is. When I decided to purchase our home here in Alabama, I asked the Lord to let it be a place for hospitality and for Bible study, much in the way my family home was when I was growing up. However, my home is not fully furnished yet ( we donated most of our furniture before we moved) and that was my excuse, but that didn’t deter my friends Amy and Alan from coming here for a visit. In fact, the morning of their arrival, I still wasn’t ready, but we got it together before they rang our doorbell that Saturday evening.

Their visit, challenged me to let go of my preconceived ideas that everything has to be perfect before you can host someone. Since the kitchen is the hub of the home it’s where we spent all of our time when weren’t out and about or sleeping. Alan landscaped my front yard as a housewarming gift. They even purchased a few much needed items for us, just because they wanted too. We worshiped together, we ate together, cooked meals, shopped ( founds some amazing items in my local thrift stores) and had the opportunity to fellowship with another couple from my local congregation. But I believe the most impactful part of the visit was on my daughter. She got to have a father figure in her life for several days and to see a godly couple in our home. She witnessed the template! That was by far the best part of the visit to me.

Though, Amy and Alan are off on their next adventure, and I may not see them again for a couple of months, I’m so grateful that through the blood of Jesus Christ, they are my family. And I am secretly praying that they will settle here in northern Alabama after they have seen the whole of the United States.

I could go on and on about how much their visit meant to me, but I’d never stop writing. I guess what I really want to convey is that oftentimes the people who love on you the most may not be your physical family and in my case that has absolutely been true. The people who have walked with me through my grief journey have been my friends and brothers and sisters in Christ and for them I forever grateful.

“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life.” Matthew 19:29.

After living here in northern Alabama for ten months, I can definitively say that is a true statement for us.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

American, Belief, Faith, Family, Freedom, Love

The South Might Not Be Right For You

Angela Ireland
Barn

I am a Southern girl, plain and simple. I have no aspirations to live anywhere else. I tried Chicago when I was in my early thirties, but two winters in the “Windy City”, made it abundantly clear, I would never fit in. The idea of wearing “long johns” under your clothes well into Spring is just not appealing. But I digress; Chicago, in all of its splendor is just not my kind of town or vibe. You may take the girl out of the country, but you just can’t take the country out of the girl. There are a set of values and sensibilities that were built in during my upbringing that just wouldn’t allow me to thrive there. So, I returned to the South and have never looked back.

Though, I moved back to home state of North Carolina after I left Chicago, a series of life events later led me to Georgia and of course the death of my son in February of 2022, led me to the heart of Dixie, also known as Alabama and once again, I haven’t looked back. While it may have surprised my family and friends back in North Carolina and Georgia even, that I would make such a bold move, I know that I hit the jackpot on this side of heaven when we moved here.

After praying, researching and visiting we decided to make northern Alabama our new home and after six months of renting, we knew it was time to put down some roots, so we bought our home in February, exactly one year and seven days after the death of our beloved, Ethan.

Here is what I want you to know, no matter what the elites may say about the south, here is the truth, we love God, we love our families and we love our country. We love our values and our traditions and we refuse to compromise or bow down to the woke mob no matter how many obscenities or censoring they do. We answer to God and it is Him alone that we want to please or at least that is the case in my house. There is no better quote to me, than what Joshua, had to say, thousands of years ago, “And if it seems evil to you to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15. Friend, that is the exact quote you will see when you enter my house.

So, if serving the Lord or living an upright moral life is not for you, please be advised that the south is not for you. We don’t want a new way of living that will violate, what we believe and know to be true. By the way, that is not being hateful. Telling you the truth is the ultimate act of love.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Grief, Mindset

Something to Celebrate

Angela Ireland

I firmly believe that when you prioritize God above all else, blessings just come. Tonight was such an occasion. I am happy to report that on my first attempt, I successfully passed my Functional Nutrition Certification exam! 🎉🎉

Though my heart is still heavy because my boy is not here to celebrate with me, it is because of him that I started this wellness journey.

Please stay tuned for more details that I will share over the coming weeks as I begin to set up my practice.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

To God be the glory!

AngelaChristine

*official certification to be mailed.

Officially certified
Belief, Faith, Family, Friendship

Tiny Little Miracles

Angela Ireland

It’s hard to believe that we have been here for three weeks. So much has happened in such a short time that it’s impossible to not see God’s hand in this move. We have visited three churches of Christ, since we have been here and have already made good friends. Through these friendships, we have been able to connect with the homeschooling community. Emily is enrolled in piano, will start tennis lessons after Labor Day and will also get to participate in Fall planting at my sister in Christ’s home next month. Needless the say, as I sit here typing out this post, tears are streaming down my face as I reflect on how good God is and has been since we made this move. Though it was extremely hard in the preparation, I am appreciative that Huntsville, is woven into our journey to heaven.

Today has been busy, following worship this morning, we were invited to the home of a family from church for lunch. Not only was the meal delicious, but everything on our plates came from their backyard. Even the kombucha that was served with our meal was homemade. The meal was followed by a tour of their homestead, and if that was not enough, they gifted us with more wonderful vegetables to take home. The one surprise at lunch was the rabbit. I’ve always been hesitant about eating rabbit, but decided today that I would expand my horizons. So, I ate it with gratitude and to my surprise it was quite tasty.

If I had to put a cap on my day, it was that I was able to leave my daughter at the church building this evening after Bible study for her first youth event. She had a great time and made some new friends. She was the primary driver for this move, because I wanted to have her surrounded by other children her age, growing in Christ. God has taken us from isolated to invited and welcomed.

With all of this wonderful happening to us, my heart still aches because Ethan is not here with us to experience this too. In fact, I feel guilty that we are able to live this life without him. It seems so unfair. In fact, I still can’t comprehend that my life is so radically different now. That God would have me go on without my heartbeat, my precious boy. It still hurts so deeply.

Though, I don’t understand, I will cling to my Lord and Savior, trusting that one day I will see Ethan again as he should have always been, whole and well.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:15&16

In Christine love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Family

Sweet Home Alabama

Angela Ireland

There is so much to share that I don’t even know where to begin. My daughter and I embarked upon a journey that relocated us from the state that we had grown to call home to a place that seemed so foreign when God placed it on my heart. Probably like many of the early Americans when they left family to travel out west to set up a new homestead.

But here it’s different or maybe I am different. I am different. Or perhaps, it’s the relatability or the way we were welcomed into church on Sunday as though they had been waiting for us to arrive. Or maybe it’s just the door that opened because He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. Whatever that, it is, I am grateful that we can now call, Alabama our home. ❤️

Being a native of North Carolina, I would never have thought I could live in Alabama. Truth be told I felt the same way about Georgia.

Thank you, Alabama for welcoming us with open arms.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Belief, Faith, Grief, Love

Walking Through Sorrow

Angela Ireland

It’s been four months since my precious son left this life and there isn’t one day that I don’t think of him. It’s not possible for me to forget the joy that he brought into my life. He made me a warrior, a fighter, he made me brave.

I try to stay busy, because sitting with my thoughts for too long is too hard. I have to pack, but it seems like I barely get started before I stop. I know that it needs to be done, but for some reason, I can find a million distractions. I wonder if it’s because part of me feels like packing makes his death final or is just a reminder that this next journey doesn’t include him.

I know that God has him. There is no doubt in my mind that he is healed and happy. I’m just sad that it didn’t happen for me to see. Sometimes, I find myself calling him to come and give me a hug, I just want to hold him and snuggle. But he doesn’t come. Maybe he doesn’t miss me in the way that I miss him.

I still wonder why he had to leave and I know that I may never get the answers that I am seeking. I guess I just want to know why I had to go through another hurt so deep that breathing hurts. But God doesn’t owe me an explanation so I’ll accept that His grace is sufficient.

Besides I guess none of us gets to leave this planet without some amount of sorrow. Just seems that I have had enough for two lifetimes. Maybe there is a lesson in that for me to learn. I guess, I need to figure it out, because I am tired of walking through sorrow and having grief as a constant companion.

Perhaps, I’ll wake up one day and grief will be gone and if she is, I pray that I am ready for the day.

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Morning Kisses
Belief, Faith, Grief, Mindset

On The Edge of Nowhere

Angela Ireland

Where do I belong? Where should we go? Should we just buy an RV and travel from state to state? Those are questions, I ask myself almost daily. You see when Ethan was alive, we knew. We knew where we had to be and when. But now, we’re nomads. Anchored only to the belief that, if we live faithfully we will be reunited with our Ethan someday.

When I show up online, people see the bright shiny Angela doing her best to serve and inspire. What they don’t see is the pain, that still permeates my heart. Though it’s been nearly four months, I am still not okay that he is gone. I will likely never be.

I guess what I struggle so deeply with is the not knowing. Why he had to go and not me? Why am I still here to mourn the sweetest, purest heart that I was blessed to nurture and care for? What lessons does God want me to know? Why do I still not have the faith of Job? Why do I still not know where I belong?

I started the “75 Hard Challenge” on May 9, and knock on wood, I’ve been able to meet the challenge so far. But one of the things that I am learning or I guess I have had to face is the me looking back at me in the mirror. Truth is, this is a mental challenge and it has brought forth some hard truths. Number one, I am not in control, God is and He is the ultimate decision maker. For me to think otherwise is arrogant and rebellious. Two, He loves me and has only the best plan laid out for me as long as I listen to his voice and step out of the drivers seat and sit in the passengers seat where I belong.

Three, Job was not blessed abundantly because he did not sin, but because he never wavered in his belief that God was the giver of all that he had and that He would provide and was worthy of praise, no matter the circumstances. He just trusted and believed, even when he lost all of his children in one day! He grieved but did not stop trusting God. That is the lesson, right?

Just like Job, I may never know why God has allowed me to experience so much grief over the years. But what I do know is that, God has a plan for me, not one of evil, but a future and a hope. I just have to believe that He will and to live my life according to will and to seek His counsel daily.

“And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” I Peter 5:10

In Christian love,

AngelaChristine

Nowhere

Belief, Mindset

We Are What We Believe

Angela Ireland

What occupies your mind? Does your work align with your values and beliefs?

I spent nearly 24 years of my life trading my time for a paycheck. In that time, I sacrificed what was most important, not because i wanted to, but because I thought that I had no choice. Ultimately, my only son died as a result of choices that I thought we right, but later learned that they were wrong, it was a hazard of the profession that I had chosen.

Since my son’s death I have had many sleepless nights and more time to study the Bible and to remember what my purpose is here on this earth. I have had the opportunity to speak to my sisters in Christ about maintaining their physical health and the best gift was witnessing my daughter commit her life to Christ through baptism into his kingdom. Acts 2:38.

We only get one life and in the grand scheme of it all, it is short. So while there is still breath in my body, I will heed the advice of King Solomon, who penned, “ The end of the matter, all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.”
Ecclesiastes 12:13&14

So again, I ask, “what occupies your mind?”